I am sitting here with a nasty rash and a general feeling of being ill. I can't remember what it's like to be well, full of energy, bright eyed and bushy tailed. I'm what is known as a TATT - tired all the time. I've had endless blood tests, spent a fortune on various supplements , therapists, self help books, exercise, yoga, etc. I am feeling better than I was, and certainly look better than I did, but today, this evening, I just feel like crap.
Feeling crap narrows your horizons. For years now I've just managed to get through the day, dealing with the house and children, etc. No energy or time for extras, especially taking a day off and lying in bed all day, which is what sensible people would do. Not feeling well? spend the day in bed! So why don't I? is it because I don't have a proper grown up job so I'm not entitled to take any time off? Am I being a martyr to the cause? Is it punishment for something or other? Or do I just need a few early nights and a more positive attitude - believe me I'm trying, very trying. I have to keep reminding myself that I have made lots of progress, and that I will get better. Everyone tells me I'm looking better, I can see I look better. But today I just don't feel better.
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3 comments:
But why on earth don't you spend the day in bed? Are your sprogs not in full-time education yet?
They surely won't complain about eating chicken nuggets and pasta and some sort of fruit smoothie for a week, so that gets your cooking time down to about 15 minutes, and if they get tomorrow's stuff ready the night before, and put bowls of cereal on the table ready for their breakfast, then all you have to do is get out of bed to let them out of the house, then you go straight back upstairs.
You can get shopping delivered - even magazines and cake, I believe.
yes, you're absolutely right, Next time I feel under the weather I will spend the day in bed - I'm feeling much better now! - and the children (two of whom are secondary school age, and the youngest is 8 and aleady makes her own packed lunch!) would welcome a break from my cooking, I can tell you.
It's just a habit, really it is. And I come from a long line of martyrs to the cause who like nothing but a good moan instead of prioritising themselves like normal, rational, sane people do!
Dear S, hope you are feeling better! there is always so much stuff to do that even when I am ill I end up folding, wiping, tidying - it's crazy!
I did once spend the day in bed (husband had to ferry the kids to school - what a shocker!) and honestly felt much better the next day.
Congrats on your articles and look after yourself!
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