fat woman rant

Yes, here we go, another fat woman rant.

The temperature here in South London has risen and it's officially summertime.
And I hate it. And I hate hating it.
Because it means that yet again despite my efforts I'm having to keep my lardy self covered up.
I feel ill, hot , sweaty and unable to do anything apart from perform beached whale impersonations.
Luckily last year I invested in some lineny clothes, so I don't have to sweat it out in my elephantine jeans, but even these just show me that I'm slightly larger than I was last year.

I'll get over it.
There are far worse things in life.

So, what's been happening, then?

I'll tell you what's been happening.

Training for this http://www.walkthewalk.org/Challenges/ThePlaytexMoonWalk

I don't know how it happened, but I got a place, followed the training booklet, and it's just over a week to go.

I have been supported and generally cattleprodded by the wondeful Suzy http://www.walkingworkouts.co.uk/ so much that I'm now finding very difficult to walk on my own.

Over the past few weeks, we've walked some fabulous routes around London, along the river, round and round Hyde Park, and finally last Sunday we walked 20 miles from Hampton Court to Batteresea Bridge all along the river in 5.5 hours.

I swear that after 17/18 May I will invest in a mobility scooter and never walk another step.

I'm planning my costume. The rules state that we have to walk in decorated bras. My children have made me promise that I will not expose any part of myself. Bit of a conflict there, I think.
Still, they will be asleep at home whilst I do this, so I'll jolly well do as I please! The walking starts at midnight, so it'll be interesting to see how we cope with being up all night.

I'll keep you posted.

All The Rage - May 2008

I am horrified to note that it's over two minths since I wrote anything of note on my blog. I know, I know, I've been neglecting my army of readers, but life has been going on.

I am delighted to share with you the latest edition of All The Rage.

I hope you enjoy it.

http://www.alltherage.org.uk/alltherage-2008-05.pdf

All the Rage - March 2008

It's all go here!

And Leila has been busy again crafting another fine edition of All the Rage.

http://www.alltherage.org.uk/alltherage-2008-03.pdf


This month's theme is Space (and not necessarily the Final Frontier)

So read it!

Help - I'm doing the Moonwalk!

Well, it had to come out sooner or later - it appears that I'm doing the Playtex Moonwalk 2008 http://www.walkthewalk.org/about.htm as a member of the Sweaty Betty Team http://www.sweatybetty.com/Scripts/prodlist.asp.

The Moonwalk is the walk which takes place in central London overnight. Everyone is supposed to wear their bras over their clothes. It's supposed to be the most wonderful event and I'm slowly coming round to the fact that I'm really going to do it.

We had our first training session yesterday - two hours spent walking round Battersea Park, following the trim and toned lovelies from Head Office.

How have I got involved? Well, I spend Monday morning walking around Wandsworth Common with the MBT walking group run by Sweaty Betty Battersea. It's all good clean fun. One morning, someone with a clipboard asked if I was interested and I said ok, never thinking I'd get a place as it's a very popular event.

A few weeks later, I got the news. So I'd better get training!

Of course, my family think I'm absolutely barking mad. And they're probably right. I can only hope that I can manage the 26 miles in the allotted 8 hour slot, otherwise I'll end up in a dustcart somewhere.

All The Rage - February 2008

Hello Everybody Peeps!

Here's the latest edition of the wonderful All The Rage

http://alltherage.org.uk/alltherage-2008-02.pdf

Let's hope the link works this time and Leila won't have to get her cattle prod out.

It's all about time.

And I've been allowed to contribute.

Throwing it all away

When I'm not frolicking on a Saturday night, I've been spending my time clearing out the house.

What started as a bit of filing has now turned into an attempt to break the People's Republic of Lambeth's record for the highest number of recycling sacks left out all at once for the collectors. We're up to ten sacks at the moment, and we have three days to go.

My cousin gave me an Australian Flower Remedy combo - Purifying - which has set me off foraging through cupboards and throwing things away.

I'm now thinking about what I'm going to do with my collection of Feng Shui magazines, my old French degree coursebooks, and all the magazines and newspapers I kept when the children were born. What immediately comes to mind is my trusty shopping trolley and the fact that the British Heart Foundation Bookshop is a two minute walk from my abode. And I have another roll of orange sacks.

I am determined to work my way through the house. My old work clothes - even the Jaegar stuff, bed linen from the 1980s, our last pushchair, all the crap my aunt gave us when she cleared out her own house, all the self help books I've bought from the charity shops, and so forth.

I'm even tempted to pack away the cupboard full of crystal we got as a wedding present. What possessed us to want all that stuff when we only use glasses from the supermarket. Why do I need ten plastic mixing bowls, when a couple will do. Mercifully we have an Oxfam furniture shop within dragging distance so they can all go there. The trick will be to escape from the Oxfam shop with an empty trolley.

I have now stopped the arrival of more crap to replace the old stuff. The post is processed on arrival - I attack it like a manky old rottweiler. School letters are digested and immediately binned, and magazines and read and passed on within the week.

We're knee deep in crud at the moment, but it'll be lovely when it's all finished.

Watch this ever increasing space!